This will get easier with time but right now all I want is you sitting by my side begging me to straighten your nasty flow and busting into the house to tell us how great of a wrap you made for lunch. You were not only a great friend but an inspirational one. You played your heart out on that ice and you wore your heart on your sleeve no matter what you did. When I needed a buddy to sit with me and watch baseball you were there and you even drove me anywhere I wanted to get what I asked for. Thanks for all the slurpee’s , spitz and jerky you bought me in the 6 months of knowing you and those beautiful blue eyes and bright smile. I couldn’t have asked to meet a better person or friend. You told me that letting people push me around was no way to live and you helped me to stand up for myself. There are no words to explain the impact you left on my life and on my heart. Jeff Olson you were an amazing hockey player, exceptional friend, loving son and brother and a devoted boyfriend. Keep that stick on the ice and show em what competition looks like up there. Love you Jeff. Lulu will miss that sick sense of humor you have. Keep em on their toes ‘babey’.

“you like water baabeey?!”

Ya but I like Jeffery James Olson a lot better. Keep an eye over us you beauty.

8 months ago  /  0 notes

Leave me be..

This feeling of never being alone is haunting. Take what you want, leave what you don’t. The shadows on the walls frighten me & I do not know how much longer I can take this slow insanity. This tingle in my knees & hips makes me feel like I am being watched, touched, studied. Constantly reminding me not to forget about you, I knew as a child that I was not imagining this. A cold shiver rushes over me & I wonder if there is something greater than me taking over. The memories, moments & mangled images rush over me like a train on a track, it all makes sense. It fits, like that last missing piece of a puzzle, has it been you all along? Are you what makes me feel the way I do, are you what makes me think the way I do, are you what makes me look the way I do? Are you the heart racing cold shivers I feel, are you the mindless thoughts of death I think, are you the cuts, the bruises, the shame? How much longer until I know for sure.. let me be free. Leave me be..

9 months ago  /  0 notes